1.26.2007
Round 1 Match 13
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Transformer vs Performer!
Optimius Prime: The diesel powered leader of the Autobots. Soon to be permeating every conceivable product on the shelves to promote the live action blockbuster coming this summer.
Nemo: The little fish that could. Could propel sales of DVD's, plush replicas, tropical fish tanks, swim-safe diapers, etc. Nemo is the default name for any orange-ish fish for anyone born in this millennium.
Criteria: This could be a classic land vs. sea battle. Or, a sales competition of merchandise revenue.
Round 1 Match 14
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Master Sleuth vs. Legislative Truth
Sherlock Holmes: Holmes not cool? Replace the goofy hat with a cane and graphic T-shirts, and you've got Dr. House, (Holmes="Homes"="House" get it?) the current darling of evening TV drama. As the forefather of deductive mystery fiction, Sherlock is cool.
A Bill: "...just a lonely old bill, sitting here on capital hill." The undisputed star of the Schoolhouse Rock franchise. I may not remember much about the American legislative process, but I sure remember that song.
Criteria: Interplanet Janet has been found dead, run over by the conjunction junction train as it passed a schoolbus, which had to stop and yield according to the Bill's newly enacted law. Holmes is called to investigate. Discuss.
Round 1 Match 15
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Preciousss vs. Eeediots!
Gollum: The template for every stool-pigeon, low-life informant character to come since. Starsky and Hutch's Huggie Bear? Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon? Totally Gollum. Also proved his worthiness as he stole all his scenes during the film franchise.
Ren and Stimpy: These two dominated the media consciousness in the early 90's with a surreal, "shock and awe" style not to be seen again (until South Park). Were they cool? Many thought so, and for that they will be eternally damned.
Criteria: Neither contender is traditionally "cool" (although you can't dispute their media prevalence) so evaluation criteria is hard to pin down. How about a gross-out contest?
Round 1 Match 16
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Indestructible vs Incorrigible!
Mr. Bill: As a parody of Gumby, he was cooler and possibly more prevalent. A great example of the catch-phrase-generating power of Saturday Night Live.
Cat In The Hat: Dr. Seuss' franchise player. He's like Loki, but with a conscience. If he hadn't cleaned up the house after his rampage, it would've served the Mother right. Leaving her kids alone like that, what does she think this is, "Max and Ruby"?
Criteria: Does Mr. Bill's satirical look at children's programming overcome the chaotic legacy of the chapeau-chat? You decide!
