2.03.2006
Round 1 Match 9: Potpourri Division
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Cereal Chief vs Junk-food Thief! Like "Master and Commander" only with junk food!
Cap'n Crunch: Kindly leader who keeps himself and his crew shipshape by a steady diet of rock-hard crunchy corn barrels.
Hamburglar: Devilish rogue who can't resist the temptation of McDonald's hamburgers. Equal parts Wimpy and Swiper.
Round 1 Match 9: Animal Division
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Puppetry Battle!
Jeremy: Yet another European import/interpretation that penetrated Canadian children's consciousness through TVO. The theme song was probably the most memorable part of Jeremy's adventures.
Lambchop: Before Elmo, there was Lambchop. Cute and precocious, this puppet and her ventriloquist Shari Lewis were a mainstay in 70's TV. A highlight of the original Hollywood Squares.
Round 1 Match 9: Cute/Funny Division
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Child id vs. Robot kid!
Calvin: From his daydream adventures, to the haircutting incident, to the subversive snowmen, Calvin is tres cool. Evidence abounds of his pop-culture permanence, mostly in the form of bootleg T-shirts and obscene truck decals.
Astro Boy: Anime's Pinocchio. As with much early anime, few on this side of the world knew just how "big" Astro Boy was, nor were we ever exposed to the unedited versions of his stories.
Round 1 Match 9: Action Division
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Battle of the Bad-Ass Ninjas! Who kicks more tail? You decide!
Snake Eyes: The tragic hero of the GI Joe team. Of all the Joes, Snake Eyes had the most extensive backstory (click on the link for more). And in the end, he got the girl too.
Splinter: The ascetic mentor of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Splinter also has quite the deep and rich history. He was responsible for naming the Turtles, thus ensuring that every child would have a link to Italian Renaissance art.
Round 1 Match 8 Winners
 | In a very close battle Mr. Stay-Puft squeaks by the veteran Dough-boy. Many of the arguments seemed to center around some kind of "squatter's rights" for Dough-boy since he was invented first. As many of our contributors will explain, prior conception should never stand in the way of a successful design. |
 | Gargamel easily overcame the Purple Pieman. Pieman's only noted strength was baking, and I'm sure that an evil-genius-lapsed-monk could find a way to also whip up a cobbler or two. |
 | Babar took out Sunffleupagus. Snuffy wasn't without supporters, but the power of colonialism was too much for the big Hawaiian to handle. History repeats itself once again. |
 | Who could have predicted the influence Tintin had on the contributors? Who could have predicted the relative obscurity of Jonny Quest in everyone's eyes? Certainly not me, or I would have arranged the matches much differently (like maybe Jonny vs. Casey or Polkaroo). |
