3.03.2006
Round 1 Match 14: Potpourri Division
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Absolutely-no-connection-to-each-other Battle!
Q-Bert: "Wow, it's in 3D!" That's what most of us exclaimed when this game came out. What we meant was, "Wow, we have to move diagonally!"
Lucky: This little guy sticks in our minds as much as his cereal sticks to the roof our mouths. And... best marshmallows EVER.
Round 1 Match 14: Animal Division
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Calamitous Clash of the Cartoon Canines!
Astro: With his extensive treadmill conditioning, expect Astro to be able to go the distance in a long battle
Huckleberry Hound: It's like Forrest Gump, but with a Dog! Small-town charm and southern style gave this dog hero his appeal.
Round 1 Match 14: Cute/Funny Division
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Cute Collectives Battle!
My Little Ponies: Another retro-franchise that persists today, because, let's face it: they're way cheaper than buying a real pony. And you would get into a lot of trouble if you dyed a horse pink or lavender.
Gummi Bears: More bounce than Tigger, more plot than the Smurfs, with a dash of Medieval Times thrown in.
Round 1 Match 14: Action Division
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Brokeback Battle! (Seriously, look at these two, they look like they should be on a parade float. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
He-Man: The half-naked musclehead who always has a firm grip on his sword.
Asterix: The happy viking with the moustache who always keeps his big burly partner close behind him.
Round 1 Match 13: Potpourri Division
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Battle of the "Smooth Operators"!
GP: Adventurer, benefactor, and world-traveller, this big rodent stood out from the rest of Hammy's crew, mostly due to his WC Fields-esque voice.
Top Cat: It's like Oceans 11, but with cats! Top Cat was a cool rogue who was always one step ahead of the law and had a whole posse to help him out.
Round 1 Match 13: Animal Division
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Sweet Bear Battle!
Sugar Bear: Hmmm...how to get kids to eat their puffed wheat? Cover it with syrup, and get a bear to sell it! Sugar Bear kept it cool though, not resorting to the manic craziness of some of his competitors.
Share Bear: One of the dominant characters in the Care Bear universe... uh, no. Central to most Care Bear plotlines... no, not really. The first Care Bear that the commissioner could recall before the allowance of whole collectives of characters into the competition? Yes, that sounds more accurate. Seriously, voters should really consider the entire Care Bears franchise when voting on this one, (especially considering the My Little Ponies vs. Gummi Bears match).
Round 1 Match 13: Cute/Funny Division
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Snack Battle!
Mr. Peanut: This cultured gentleman is always welcome at cocktail parties, family get-togethers, or sporting events. Although, I'm not too sure that a guy with a top hat and spats would be too comfortable at a Super Bowl party.
Mr. Turtle: Similar to his legume counterpart but more of a ladies man, (always seemed to be scoring with the female back-up singers).
Round 1 Match 13: Action Division
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Diabolical Battle!
Daedalus: The evil wizard, always foiled by the Mighty Hercules. A master in summoning fearsome monsters for Hercules to contend with, which all seemed to move the same way and made the same hissing sounds.
Destro: This GI Joe villain had the whole 70's freaky-factor turned up big time, (open shirt down to the navel, weird love chain amulet, scary iron mask). He seemed to make it work, however, and was a legitimately threatening villain, especially in the interchanges between himself and Cobra Commander.
Round 1 Match 12 Winners
 | Chicken Hawk proves himself to be the David to Megatron's Goliath, in a spirited bloodbath that (almost) lived up to it's hype. But, will this giant-killer's sentimental underdog momentum get him through Round 2? |
 | Kool-Aid Man proves that when it comes to ironic nostalgia fruity and sweet will beat out nutritious and frozen any time. Now, if he had to face Lil' Sprout instead ... |
 | Newton trampled all over Bullwinkle, leaving him in a crumpled heap like some giant road-kill on the Trans-Canada Highway. |
 | Casper and Slimer provided the close match of the week. In the end, Casper slid past (or through?) his foe to move one step closer to ironic immortality. |
