4.13.2007
Round 1 Match 57
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Battle of the Tough Guys!
Donald: He's a crusty sailor who fights, spits, and refuses to wear pants. That's a tough guy if there ever was one.Jack: The current heir to Chuck Norris' throne. So tough he can save the world in a day, without taking any bathroom or meal breaks.
Criteria: Donald holds the key to a top-secret doomsday device hidden in the sewers of LA. Jack has to hunt Donald down, and get the information out of him in the next 24 hours. He finds him in the first hour, and spends the next 23 hours trying to figure out what the heck Donald is saying. Can he do it in time? You decide!
# posted on Friday, April 13, 2007
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There is not even a second of hesitation here - absolutely Jack Bauer. There is nothing Jack Bauer can't do - he can kill a terrorist with one flick of his wrist, he can get to the other side of LA in 5 minutes (always!), and he always saves the day. I love Jack Bauer........sorry, day dreaming there for a minute. :)
The phrase "we're running out of time!" will never be the same again. Then there's "You're gonna tell me what I want to know..." or "The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you."
The hour of bauer power... Jack Bower might as well be king of the world.
The hour of bauer power... Jack Bower might as well be king of the world.
If you can see Jack Bauer, then Jack Bauer can see you.
If you cannot see Jack Bauer, you may be moments away from death.
I've been converted. I love Jack Bauer.
Plus, he was against Disney - Donald's a dead duck.
If you cannot see Jack Bauer, you may be moments away from death.
I've been converted. I love Jack Bauer.
Plus, he was against Disney - Donald's a dead duck.
ALthough there is more Disney hate which I don't really understand... let's face it girls who would rather do...
A sailor without pants that has a unexplainable temper and unintelligble speech....
Or Jack.
Yep, "anonymous" says it all... just day dreaming here.
A sailor without pants that has a unexplainable temper and unintelligble speech....
Or Jack.
Yep, "anonymous" says it all... just day dreaming here.
Excerpts from an email...
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's definitely beef.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?
Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
Jack Bauer can order a Big Mac at Burger King.
Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Jack Bauer laughs at the movie Mission Impossible. There is no such thing as an impossible mission for Jack.
Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is
stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."
Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and
lived to tel.........
You walk into a bar and Jack Bauer's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.
It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child.
Once.
After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's definitely beef.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?
Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
Jack Bauer can order a Big Mac at Burger King.
Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Jack Bauer laughs at the movie Mission Impossible. There is no such thing as an impossible mission for Jack.
Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is
stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."
Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and
lived to tel.........
You walk into a bar and Jack Bauer's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.
It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child.
Once.
After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Poor Donald! He just can't compete. Usually it's Mickey's shadow, but now even some young turk is pushing him out of the limelight.
Bauer - i know you not at all - but i am stunned by how often you get referenced in casual conversation.
You get my vote. (But if it had been Mickey - you wouldn't have.)
Bauer - i know you not at all - but i am stunned by how often you get referenced in casual conversation.
You get my vote. (But if it had been Mickey - you wouldn't have.)
Puh-lease....what a horribly obvious rip of of Chuck. There is nothing original to Jack Bauer. Chuck Norris for the win!
gah!
what a choice!
am i the only person on the planet that hasn't fallen under the spell of Jack Bauer and '24'?
i love Donald Duck...he is my guilty Disney pleasure...but i think Jack would kick his quackin' ass.
sorry Donald. can't bring myself to vote for Disney on this one.
what a choice!
am i the only person on the planet that hasn't fallen under the spell of Jack Bauer and '24'?
i love Donald Duck...he is my guilty Disney pleasure...but i think Jack would kick his quackin' ass.
sorry Donald. can't bring myself to vote for Disney on this one.
Other life decisions have been filling my waste-o time and I had thought that I would get back to the Icon-o-Clash once the second round began, but seeing the plight of Jack in battle with Donald has hastened my return.
That the mere thought of him in "danger", apparently not in this round, could spur me to action speaks volumes to the power of Bauer.
My vote is for Jack - DO IT! DO IT NOW!
That the mere thought of him in "danger", apparently not in this round, could spur me to action speaks volumes to the power of Bauer.
My vote is for Jack - DO IT! DO IT NOW!
Chuck Norris?! Steve McQueen would use Chuck as a toaster (the bread would be Jack Bauer). So while Steve is not in the running the email about Jack Bauer made me laugh. May the squashing begin.
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